If You're Reading This
by cHoCoLaTe-RuM
Summary: DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILER! Fred wrote a letter to his girlfriend before his death, just in case. better than it sounds, i think. Songfic. ONESHOT.


A/N:I'm not sure how great this is, it's my first song-fic. Review and lemme know how it is…if you hate it, tell me why. If you love it, tell me why. Thanks! By the way, _Fred's letter is in italics,_ as are _FLASHBACKS._

Disclaimer: All characters except for Holly, Raine and Cheyenne belong to J.K. Rowling, not me. Also, the song "If You're Reading This" is by Tim McGraw, not me.

If You're Reading This 

If you're reading this  
My momma is sitting there  
Looks like I only got a one way ticket over here

I sure wish I could give you one more kiss  
War was just a game we played when we were kids

"Raine." Mrs. Weasley was standing there, George behind her. Raine wiped away tearstains on her cheeks. She handed her an envelope. On the front, only her name was written. _Raine. _She took a shaky breath, realizing it was in Fred's messy but recognizable scrawl.

"It won't open for anyone else," Mrs. Weasley explained, "not even George." Raine nodded, flipping the envelope over. As she opened it, Mrs. Weasley and George left. Unfolding the parchment, she exhaled, wondering whether or not she could handle reading it.

She took a deep breath and began to read anyway. It said, '_Raine, If you're reading this now, it means I'm dead, which I must say if very unfortunate. _She smiled; even in death, Fred couldn't help but crack a joke. She read on, _I knew someone in the family was not going to live through this. It was just too big a battle and our family's too involved. I wrote this, you know, just in case. If you're reading this, then I guess it was me. _She sighed.

Well I'm laying down my gun  
I'm hanging up my boots  
I'm up here with God  
And we're both watching over you

_Stick with George; he's great at cheering people up and he's probably more upset than anyone._ Well, she had managed to get that right. The days following Fred's…she couldn't bring herself to say it. But since that night, she had never left George's sight. He and her did everything together; she even slept in his room, she couldn't bear to wake up and be without a redheaded twin. She read on, _Tell George I'm here for him. Well, not physically, but I'll be watching out for you both._ The first tear since reading the letter slipped down her cheek. She wiped it away hurriedly.

So lay me down  
In that open field out on the edge of town  
And know my soul  
Is where my momma always prayed where it would go  
If you're reading this, I'm already home.

She didn't want to read anymore, she wanted to save herself the heartache; yet she couldn't tear her eyes from the page, wanting to soak up every last bit of him that she could. _I put a spell on this letter so only you and who you want to see it can. I don't care who you show it to, but please show it to George…for me. He needs to know that he won't be alone; that was always his worst fear._ She tilted her head. She didn't know George was afraid of being alone. She could ask him about it later; she was afraid of being alone as well.

If you're reading this  
Half way around the world  
I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl  
I hope she looks like you  
I hope she fights like me  
Stand up for the innocent and the weak

_Please, if nothing else, take care of our girl. I don't know who you've told, but I haven't told a soul; not even George. You can tell him now, and whoever you want. I guess it needs to be told._ She sighed. She had told everyone a few days ago. She unconsciously rubbed her slightly protruding stomach, looking out the window, reliving the memory.

FLASHBACK:

_"Raine, sweetheart, you can't shut yourself up for the rest of your life. We all lost someone too, we can help you," Mrs. Weasley had said. The room had gone quiet. She knew they had been talking about her, how she had shut herself away, but Mrs. Weasley had been the only one to bring it up. They were at the dinner table, and even Bill, Charlie and Percy were there._

_"I'm fine, Mrs. Weasley," she had said shortly, "and I lost more than just someone special. You can't help me." Mrs. Weasley bristled. Raine knew she was going to have a row with her; she wasn't going to accept help for this. She couldn't, not without giving away her secret._

_"In case you didn't remember," Mrs. Weasley snarled, standing up, "I lost my son! My own flesh and blood! You think you're so high and mighty because you lost a boyfriend. People lost their brother, their friend, their SON!" The room had been frozen. Raine stood._

_"Well, you may have lost your son, but I lost the love of my life and THE FATHER OF MY CHILD!" She bellowed. Mrs. Weasley took a step back, alarmed. Forks dropped, as did mouths._

_"What?" Someone at the table whispered. Raine swiveled to look around the table._

_"Oh, you didn't know? None of you could tell?" she said, in an unusually airy voice. "Yea, I'm about, oh, I don't know, 4, 5 months along?" She turned to George and her best friend, Holly. "F-Fred wanted you two to be the godparents." They nodded. She turned to face Mrs. Weasley again._

_"You still can't help me. And I don't think I'm high and mighty. I'm trying to deal with the fact that my daughter has to grow up without a father." She left after that, up to George's room, where she fell asleep curled around Fred's old pillow._

END FLASHBACK

She and Mrs. Weasley had apologized and made up, but she doubted things would be the same for a while. She and Fred had gone to the hospital some months before, where they had told them it would be a girl. She smiled then, imagining their little girl. Hopefully, she'd have her daddy's red hair, and maybe her momma's brown eyes. As Fred had suggested, she would name her Cheyenne Raine. She imagined, since it was no longer possible, Fred holding the newborn, by her bedside at St. Mungo's, both of them smiling with joy. She started to cry.

I'm laying down my gun  
Hanging up my boots  
Tell dad I don't regret that I'd follow in his shoes

So lay me down  
In that open field out on the edge of town

She read on: _I know Mum is going to want a big funeral for me, but don't. Just bury me out in the field, put a headstone, probably granite, that lasts a while, and then say some good words and leave me be. I don't want people to have to talk in front of hundreds of people about how great I was. I was just a normal guy, with the best friend/ brother and love of my life I could ask for._ She chuckled; her first attempt at a laugh since…that night.

And know my soul

Is where my momma always prayed where it would go  
If you're reading this, I'm already home

_I'm really going to miss you. Being with you, making you laugh, watching your nose crinkle up when you giggle._ She chuckled again. She never realized he noticed such little things. _I never imagined when I met you that I would fall so hard for you. Raine, in all honesty, you are the woman of my dreams. It's a shame we couldn't spend our lives together, grow old together and such._ The tears were falling freely now. She made no move to stop them. Why bother?

If you're reading this, there is going to come a day  
You move on and find someone else and that's okay

_I know eventually you'll find someone else, maybe someone to help take care of little Cheyenne, and know that I'm okay with that. But tell Cheyenne every day that I love her, and I'm sorry I couldn't be there for her. And for you. _Raine was all out sobbing now, struggling to read that precious writing. She stood up, pacing the room, trying to stop her tears. She knew she would never find someone else; there was never anyone else, not since she first met Fred. Once her tears had slowed, but not subsided, she returned to the letter.

Just remember this  
I'm in a better place  
Soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace

She continued to read:_ Tell George that I'm okay, wherever I ended up. And you know it too. Wherever I am right now, I'm okay, and I'm watching you and George, the family and even little Cheyenne. I'm sure that even being a large pregnant woman, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen._ For the first time in two weeks, Raine laughed. Not a small chuckle, but an outright laugh. Fred always had had unique compliments. She remembered her favorite of these, back in their 6th year.

FLASHBACK:

_She had been snuggled up to him in the Gryffindor common room. She was watching the fire, and he was watching her._

"_What?" She asked, smiling. He smiled as well._

"_You are as beautiful as Mum's apple pie," he commented. She laughed, kissing his nose._

"_Such an interesting compliment, Mr. Weasley." He shrugged._

"_You'll never forget it, will you?" He remarked. She shook her head._

END FLASHBACK

Coming back to reality, she couldn't help but smile. Before she could cry, she read on: _I was planning on asking you to marry me. And not because you were having my kid either. I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Every time I thought of you, I got this big, stupid grin on my face. Every time I looked at you, I couldn't talk, I couldn't act witty or smart or anything. All I could do was stare at you, and it was the best feeling in the world when you looked back, or smiled at me, or laughed at one of my jokes or a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes product. _Raine was crying again. Why hadn't he said all this before? Why put it in his death letter? She wiped her eyes.

So lay me down  
In that open field out on the edge of town  
And know my soul is where my momma prayed where that it would go  
If you're reading this  
If you're reading this  
I'm already home

There wasn't much of the letter left. She smelled turkey, and knew dinner was almost ready; someone would be coming up soon. She read the final paragraph: _What I've been trying to say this whole letter, the sentence that, in my opinion, is the hardest of all to say, is this. Raine Bennett, I love you. With every fiber of my being, with everything I have, I love you. I wasn't brave enough to tell you everything I've told you in this letter until now. I mean, when you're staring death in the face, what else is there to fear? _She shuddered, but in a good way. She had never seen Fred say things in such a serious manner in his life. She knew every word of this was true.

_Please remember me, but don't mull over my absence and forget to live. You're a beautiful woman, Raine, and you need to live your life. I know you, and I know if you're reading this, that I've died and you've shut yourself away. Don't. Let people help you, let Harry, Ron, Hermione, Holly, George, Mum, Dad, everyone, back into your life. _She was crying, her body shaking with sobs.

_One more thing; if you can, help George keep running the shop. If he closes it just because of me, I'll pummel him. With more love than I've ever given, Fred Weasley. _She laughed, a wet, tearful laugh from imagining the twins in Heaven, or wherever they end up, Fred beating George to a pulp for closing the shop. She sighed, her eyes scanning that horrible yet beautiful scrawl that was Fred's. Before folding the parchment back up, she kissed his name.

"Raine?" She spun around. George was at the door. She smiled, walking over to him. She buried her head in his chest, and he gave her a one-armed hug.

"You okay?" he asked, glancing from the letter to her tear streaked cheeks. She nodded.

"Yep," she answered. She handed him the letter. "I want you to read this. Fred told me to tell you a lot of things, but I'd rather you read it." He nodded, and they walked downstairs. Everyone looked at her when she entered the kitchen. She sat between Holly and Harry, George across from her. Everyone was staring at her; for the first time since Fred's…death, she hadn't sat next to George.

"What's wrong, everyone? Dig in, or it'll get cold," she said with a hint of a smile. They obeyed, several conversations breaking out.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Holly asked. Raine looked around the table, at each person. She reached George last, and she swore she saw a glimpse of something above him, as if someone with red hair had been making faces. She turned to Holly.

"I'll be okay," she said confidently. "Me and Cheyenne-" she patted her stomach, "we'll be okay."


End file.
